...I just received an e-mail that my brother's wife died. I can't picture not having her, her friendship, her sunny disposition, the way she accepted everyone the way they were.

Dolly was a young 57 years old, diabetic & overweight. She chose to have that gastric bypass last 30th May, losing 135 lb. But she was constantly sick, vomiting & diarrhea. the surgeon kept putting her off: "This is the way it is; it will get better." BULL!

I keep wondering why did she die? At first it was thought that it was due to a massive a heart attack but was it also too fast of a weight drop & her heart couldn't take it? Was it caused by that surgery?

Her doctor told her she could stop her meds last summer--all of them.. That to me sounds really foolhardy when she wasn't eating proper i.e. minute amount of nutrition) and of course still had diabetes. She couldn't and didn't exercise.

I really blame her death on that surgery & not having proper care for her diabetes.

Please give me your opinions? Any & all are welcome, even opposing views.

Follow-up:

from: Marian
Subj: Thank you
Date: 01/05/04

Thank you, every one of you ...for your kind, comforting words, prayers & emotional support in the loss of my sister-in-law. It helped me to taper down on the self-pity, thinking of "poor me" and her friends, relatives, especially Dolly's husband--my brother.

At first the hospital thought it was a heart attack, but the coroner's report came back saying it was a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot from her leg to her lung. She wasn't on blood thinners. She was inactive for the past 9 weeks & could barely walk while her physical therapist urged her to be more active, even on the day that she passed on- he was there to put her through routines.

We all know that weight loss will help our diabetes control. Dolly's BGs were so high--170 and up. She said her Primary Care Physician said it was OK. Either she was in denial or badly misinformed.

I think my sadness is anger turned inside out. Directed at the surgeon who kept putting her off, didn't want to see her, referred her to her PCP. That doctor didn't know how to handle these new cases. He suggested vitamins, etc. but that made her vomiting even worse.

I'm angry at the news media who promotes this surgery via feature articles and citing examples like Al Roker and Carney Wilson.

Angry at doctors who charge $60 thousand for each surgery; besides out of pocket from the patient. Dolly paid $3000. For what? She was never well again after the operation.

Dolly was afraid for many months before the surgery, even putting it off once. She was afraid to die these past few months, also, telling this to her 2 grown daughters. She had tried everything to lose weight & felt that she could improve her health by having the surgery. Now she is a statistic.

Marian T of North Carolina